Slate magazine announced the winners of its contest to reduce the Declaration of Independence into a Twitter tweet of no more than 124 characters (plus the #TinyDeclaration hashtag).
For obvious reasons, I have to share that news:
The third runner-up, for straddling the delicate balance between the literal and humorous: @Boston1775: "We seek independence based on noble and universal ideas combined with petty and one-sided grievances."My favorite not on this list came from @NEHgov: "Dear George, it's not you. It's U.S."
The second runner-up, for his direct and confrontational tweet, goes to @TJMonticello: "All peeps are equal. Sick and tired of your tyrannical BS. Seeking independence. Your permission requested, not required."
The first runner-up, for both historical accuracy and a Twitter-worthy modernization of communication, goes to @badanes: "Our Rights from Creator (h/t @JLocke). Life, Liberty, PoH FTW! Your transgressions = FAIL. GTFO, @GeorgeIII. -HANCOCK et al."
And finally, our winner—according to his Twitter bio, a former writer for Conan O'Brien and The Daily Show—is @ApocalypseHow, for reminding us that brevity is the soul of wit: "Bye George, we've got it."